February 20, 2003
WASHINGTON, DC – President George W. Bush today announced the deployment of arrogance in an effort to disarm Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. The announcement was the focus of a speech made this afternoon in response to numerous anti-war demonstrations made this past weekend in New York, London and other cities around the world.
“Saddam is an evil man and a dangerous man. He will be disarmed by force, irregardless of the concerns of the international community and my own constituents here at home,” the President said in the speech delivered at the White House. “I believe ours is a great nation, and I have the right to pursue a recklessly unilateral foreign policy,” he added.
The United States and Britain plan to use the next several weeks to build military forces and show the world that massive anti-war protests are ineffectual. The countries are also in the process of drafting a new resolution about Hussein’s alleged failure to disarm. The resolution is expected to be a straightforward assertion that the concerns of the world’s peaceful citizens simply do not matter.
The President said that he hopes his new “Peace through Arrogance” policy will be an effective foreign policy, much in the same way that former President Ronald Reagan’s “Peace through Strength” policy was effective against the Soviet Union during the 1980s.
The President did not consider the protests to be against the use of military force and for peaceful disarmament, but rather a show of support for the Iraqi dictator.
“Evidently, some of the world don’t view Saddam Hussein as a risk to peace,” the President said. “I respectfully disagree.”
“Evidently, Tony Blair doesn’t view George Bush as a risk to peace,” said one demonstrator in London. “I respectfully disagree.”
“The role of a leader is to pursue his own political agenda,” he said in the speech. “That’s what I like about being President. I can wage war on a guy that don’t like my daddy. And get the Brits to help out.”
“Saddam has not accounted for a lot of biological and chemical weapons,” the President concluded, “If we provoke him, he might actually use them on us.”
reported in jest by John Eischeid
(NOTE: The quotation about Saddam being a risk to peace is real. I took it from the February 19, 2003 edition of the New York Times, page A12.)